On the way home the other night I decided to stop off at the local bar for a brew. I ended up at the end of the bar talking to a 22 year old guy who just moved to Denver from the east coast by way of oil fields in New Mexico. He told me that he is going to Metro State for a nutrition and physical fitness degree of sorts. I don't remember his name so I will call him Chris. Chris stood about 5'10" and weighed roughly 145 lbs, and this was not okay with him. He wants more.
During this conversation I did not ask him too many detailed questions, just general inquiries... the standard who, what, why, where, when sort of questions. Chris wants to be a gym teacher and help kids achieve their "ideal weight" and "pursue their dreams" of physical stature. These sentiments stuck with me as the days passed. He wasn't and still isn't happy with what he sees in the mirror in the morning or the reactions he may get from other men and women. I do give him this; he is changing what he doesn't like about his image instead of perpetually getting down on himself and doing nothing about it. What I don't like is this; who we are and how we see ourselves is not entirely up to us, it's become more and more up to our surroundings and how others may react to what they see on the surface. I was beginning to internalize Chris' plight and began to think about how it has affected my own life and how I have come to see myself.
I was not unlike Chris growing up, nor my two brothers. I am the middle of three late blooming boys. Entering in to high school my older brother was the smallest human being in the entire school, weighing in at a meager 70 pounds, barely exceeding the five foot mark. I maybe had an inch and five pounds more than he and that's being generous. My little brother was just the same. As every other pubescent teen in high school was gaining muscles, facial hair, and popularity... we were growing more awkward as puberty seemed to have taken the scenic route on the way to our bodies. It wasn't until my senior year that I went from barely 5 foot tall to the 6'1" I am today.
I had held many insecurities about my body during this time. Occasionally it will resurface and when it does I tell myself that as long as I am okay with me, the world should accept it as well. This was not always the case. Living in the suburbs where every thing is cookie cutter, in addition to TV, magazines, movies, commercials, etc., I realized I didn't fit the mold. Flashing images dictate that 6 pack abs and prominent biceps meant popularity and some sort of pseudo social success. Same goes for women; you must have the right curves but not too many, you must have the right make-up but not too much, and in order to have "Prince Charming" you have to be a perfect woman. No flaws allowed, only perfection.
Our society is only to blame for what has been created. We've done it to ourselves. This thought of needing to have the perfect body and face instead of having your own body and face is our fault.&pnbsp; It has created a sort of demonic standard that is nearly impossible to achieve. Western culture has turned the individual to an assembly line of internal and external criterion that is quite disenchanting and effectively ruining the internal desire to become your own person, unique but still a part of a whole. Chuck Klosterman argues that we've become a society of individuals that not only can, but need to be summed up in one word. The walking contradictions of self have been demolished. No longer can you be categorized in a myriad of ways, it has become one. You are one thing, and that one thing better be perfect.
Over the last few years I have come to embrace who I am. It came after years of attempting to fit in. It came when I realized that no matter who I am, no matter what I look like, no matter what persona I display, no matter the clothes I wear, no matter the thoughts in my head... there will be opposition. There will be someone who is different. That is what is beautiful about this world and being a living, breathing, emotional human; that there isn't just one way to be alive and thus there should be no standards of aesthetics. Come to surround yourself with people who embrace you as you are. Forego the ideals that come with being a part of a group. Be a human. Be yourself... and love that self that you are inside and out. Remember you're alive, remember you're breathing. Everything else will fall right in to place.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
David Foster Wallace Speech
“Americans seemed no longer united so much by common beliefs as by common images: what binds us became what we stand witness to. Nobody sees this as a good change. In fact, op-cultural references have become such potent metaphors in U.S. fiction not only because of how united Americans are in our exposure to mass images but also because of our guilty indulgent psychology with respect to that exposure. Put simply, the pop reference works so well in contemporary fiction because (1) we all recognize such a reference, and (2) we’re all a little uneasy about how we all recognize such a reference.”
David Foster Wallace wrote this in his essay titled E UNIBUS PLURAM Television and U.S. Fiction, the second essay in this book - an essay and argument collection called A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again. While I have not read all of David Foster Wallace’s books, what I have read has convinced me to tell you all to pick up one of his books and indulge your mind. Tonight, I want to share with you a little about his life and death, some reviews of his books, and finish off with another quite vivid quote.
David Foster Wallace, born February 21, 1962 in Ithaca, New York. His father, James Donald Wallace, accepted a job in Urbana, Illinois after finishing his graduate work in philosophy at Cornell. His mother, Sally Foster Wallace, attended graduate school in english composition at the University of Illinois. While living in Illinois, David Foster Wallace was a regionally ranked junior tennis player - tennis became a subject of lots of his writing. Here a few copies of an essay - A Derivative Sport in Tornado Alley - that speaks of this very same subject.
David Foster Wallace went on to attend his father’s alma matter - Amherst College - where he majored Summa cum laude in English and Philosophy with a focus modal logic and mathematics. Later receiving his Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing at the University of Arizona. His senior thesis - The Broom of the System - was bought and published as his first novel in 1987. He didn’t intend on being a writer, he says specifically, “I discovered that I really liked creative writing (in college). For most of my college career I was supposed to go on and do math or philosophy or math which were things I was good little nerd at. It’s odd, I don’t really think myself as a writer. I think of it as an experiment that is kind of going okay right now and we’ll have to see what happens... While I was there (at the graduate writing program), a novel I did in college was bought. I think once you have something big get bought, then technically you’re a writer - I think it fulfills the criteria in the dictionary.”
After abandoning studying philosophy at Harvard, he accepted a position in the English Department at University of Illinois where he taught a few classes and focused on writing Infinite Jest. He also has written for a number of magazines; including but not limited to Esquire, GQ, Harpers, The New Yorker and the Paris Review. In 2002, he moved to southern California to become the first Roy E. Disney Endowed Professor of Creative Writing and a Professor of English at Pomona College.
After battling over 20 years of depression, taking various medications and even electroconvolusive therapy, did not work. David Foster Wallace ended his life by hanging him self at his home in southern California on September 12, 2008.
On a brighter note, let’s talk about his work;
Mark Flanagan described his work as follows, “David Foster Wallace was well-known for his stylistic experimentation, often challenging word choices, and lengthy, demanding sentence structure. Wallace’s inventiveness often seemed to be for its own sake, but it made his work addictively fun to read, like the deciphering of a particularly challenging puzzle.”
Infinite Jest, his 1,100 page masterpiece, argues through fiction that views American society as self-obsessed, pleasure-obsessed and entertainment-obsessed. After publishing this book in 1996, David Foster Wallace was awarded the MacArthur Foundation Grant - popularly called the “genius award.” Time magazine listed this book as one of the best english written novels over the last century. “ A virtuoso display... There is generous intelligence and authentic passion on every page,” says R.Z. Sheppard of Time Magazine. Dan Cryer of Newsday wrote, “ Exhilarating, breathtaking.. The book teems with so much life and death, so much hilarity and pain, so much gusto in the face of despair that one cheers for the future of our literature.” His book Brief Interviews of Hideous Men was critically acclaimed, won the Aga Khan Prize for Fiction by the editors of The Paris Reveiw, and was recently turned in to a movie.
His life was short, but his works of literary genius will live on forever. I have shared a little about his life and gave you some reviews of his work. I will now leave you with one final quote by David Foster Wallace. This is from an essay he wrote about a state fair - this is specifically about the baton twirling competition.
David Foster Wallace wrote this in his essay titled E UNIBUS PLURAM Television and U.S. Fiction, the second essay in this book - an essay and argument collection called A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again. While I have not read all of David Foster Wallace’s books, what I have read has convinced me to tell you all to pick up one of his books and indulge your mind. Tonight, I want to share with you a little about his life and death, some reviews of his books, and finish off with another quite vivid quote.
David Foster Wallace, born February 21, 1962 in Ithaca, New York. His father, James Donald Wallace, accepted a job in Urbana, Illinois after finishing his graduate work in philosophy at Cornell. His mother, Sally Foster Wallace, attended graduate school in english composition at the University of Illinois. While living in Illinois, David Foster Wallace was a regionally ranked junior tennis player - tennis became a subject of lots of his writing. Here a few copies of an essay - A Derivative Sport in Tornado Alley - that speaks of this very same subject.
David Foster Wallace went on to attend his father’s alma matter - Amherst College - where he majored Summa cum laude in English and Philosophy with a focus modal logic and mathematics. Later receiving his Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing at the University of Arizona. His senior thesis - The Broom of the System - was bought and published as his first novel in 1987. He didn’t intend on being a writer, he says specifically, “I discovered that I really liked creative writing (in college). For most of my college career I was supposed to go on and do math or philosophy or math which were things I was good little nerd at. It’s odd, I don’t really think myself as a writer. I think of it as an experiment that is kind of going okay right now and we’ll have to see what happens... While I was there (at the graduate writing program), a novel I did in college was bought. I think once you have something big get bought, then technically you’re a writer - I think it fulfills the criteria in the dictionary.”
After abandoning studying philosophy at Harvard, he accepted a position in the English Department at University of Illinois where he taught a few classes and focused on writing Infinite Jest. He also has written for a number of magazines; including but not limited to Esquire, GQ, Harpers, The New Yorker and the Paris Review. In 2002, he moved to southern California to become the first Roy E. Disney Endowed Professor of Creative Writing and a Professor of English at Pomona College.
After battling over 20 years of depression, taking various medications and even electroconvolusive therapy, did not work. David Foster Wallace ended his life by hanging him self at his home in southern California on September 12, 2008.
On a brighter note, let’s talk about his work;
Mark Flanagan described his work as follows, “David Foster Wallace was well-known for his stylistic experimentation, often challenging word choices, and lengthy, demanding sentence structure. Wallace’s inventiveness often seemed to be for its own sake, but it made his work addictively fun to read, like the deciphering of a particularly challenging puzzle.”
Infinite Jest, his 1,100 page masterpiece, argues through fiction that views American society as self-obsessed, pleasure-obsessed and entertainment-obsessed. After publishing this book in 1996, David Foster Wallace was awarded the MacArthur Foundation Grant - popularly called the “genius award.” Time magazine listed this book as one of the best english written novels over the last century. “ A virtuoso display... There is generous intelligence and authentic passion on every page,” says R.Z. Sheppard of Time Magazine. Dan Cryer of Newsday wrote, “ Exhilarating, breathtaking.. The book teems with so much life and death, so much hilarity and pain, so much gusto in the face of despair that one cheers for the future of our literature.” His book Brief Interviews of Hideous Men was critically acclaimed, won the Aga Khan Prize for Fiction by the editors of The Paris Reveiw, and was recently turned in to a movie.
His life was short, but his works of literary genius will live on forever. I have shared a little about his life and gave you some reviews of his work. I will now leave you with one final quote by David Foster Wallace. This is from an essay he wrote about a state fair - this is specifically about the baton twirling competition.
Monday, November 15, 2010
New National Sex Survey
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/04/sex-study-by-national-sur_n_748751.html
http://www.nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu
I ran across this the other week, and forgot to finish posting!
Not much discussion needed, I don't think. Read how American's of all ages are "doin' it" nowadays...
http://www.nationalsexstudy.indiana.edu
I ran across this the other week, and forgot to finish posting!
Not much discussion needed, I don't think. Read how American's of all ages are "doin' it" nowadays...
Testosterone
Testosterone
I love This American Life, and this is one of my favorite episodes. Wanna know how important testosterone is in our daily lives? Wanna find out the misconceptions regarding testosterone (straight men don't always have more testosterone than gay men/women)? What about the effects testosterone has on a women in transition? What about a man with a body that quit making testosterone?
This is a vital natural chemical in all our bodies. Find out how much. It's a 1 hour episode. Very much worth every minute!
I love This American Life, and this is one of my favorite episodes. Wanna know how important testosterone is in our daily lives? Wanna find out the misconceptions regarding testosterone (straight men don't always have more testosterone than gay men/women)? What about the effects testosterone has on a women in transition? What about a man with a body that quit making testosterone?
This is a vital natural chemical in all our bodies. Find out how much. It's a 1 hour episode. Very much worth every minute!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sexually Abused Men Speak Out, Seek Out Help On 'Oprah'
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/howard-r-fradkin-phd/why-200-men-are-speaking-_b_779502.html
This is very interesting, and very moving. Moral of the whole story; Men need emotional help too. It's been a cultural norm for a man to be an emotionally strong, stoic, brave, in-charge person. Fact of the matter is, that 1 in 6 men is sexually abused by the age of 18! These numbers are staggering to me... As this topic is a source of non-communication. Maybe since Oprah talks to millions per day abused men will find some comfort in knowing that they aren't the only ones, and that they aren't to blame. I like where this is going..
...Just a few thoughts
This is very interesting, and very moving. Moral of the whole story; Men need emotional help too. It's been a cultural norm for a man to be an emotionally strong, stoic, brave, in-charge person. Fact of the matter is, that 1 in 6 men is sexually abused by the age of 18! These numbers are staggering to me... As this topic is a source of non-communication. Maybe since Oprah talks to millions per day abused men will find some comfort in knowing that they aren't the only ones, and that they aren't to blame. I like where this is going..
...Just a few thoughts
Friday, November 5, 2010
Ah... What?
Religion and sex never ceases to amaze me. Why people sign up for any institution that limits natural behavior is beyond me. Don't have sex at all, until you're married, and once you do, it better be vaginally and solely for procreation purposes.. Your penis/vagina is for you and you only (excluding the occasional preacher) until you get married.. and get this load of bullshit I just read..
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-shore/how-is-being-gay-like-glu_b_747071.html
"Would you support a serial adulterer who loves his wife, but is just attracted to other women because that's who he is and how he was born? How about an alcoholic who just can't help himself? Would you support him as he leaves his wife for alcohol? A glutton? A man of extreme pride? Why does homosexuality get a pass, and not any other sin? A person with homosexual desires who resists temptation is exactly the same as a married man who resists temptation to carry on affairs with other women---which is to say, a human being battling the temptation to sin. The most compassionate thing that we could tell someone struggling with homosexuality (or any other sin for that matter) is to keep resisting temptation. Keep battling. Don't give in. This is your badge as a Christian, that you fight temptation"
The above quote is taken from the HuffPo blog (the link I shared above)...
This blog is really interesting.. He proposes that the anti-everything Christian movement has turned it's focus from trying to change orientation and sexual choices to that of a sin that any man or woman can overcome. He says, and I agree, that this way of thinking is telling people with non-bible conforming sexual activities to curb those thoughts as a man trying to quit drinking would do; to give up - on loving someone. It's in religion's best interest to convince everyone that we are sinning, and that we have the "strength" to "fight" "evil" "temptations," and a "mission" to "battle." Why is everything so hateful? Why are the same people that speak for this religion engaging in behavior they condemn?
"It's in the bible, it must be true." - Ha, and I also believe everything I read on the internet. Bobby Henderson , an Oregon State physics graduate, invented a religion also; The Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, aka (I love this) Pastafarianism. They celebrate Friday as a holy day. They believe that the decline in pirates is causing global warming (this is just a play on the fact that beliefs and fact aren't always linked even though correlational; cause yes, pirate numbers have gone down and temperature has gone up, but they are not related - obviously)...
moving forward....
The recently defeated Ken Buck says that sexual orientation is a choice as well. You can choose whether to eat at Fat Jack's Supersubs, or Deli Zone.. so it's apparent that you can choose whether you like the same sex or not. This makes total sense.. ha! What makes sense is this...
Sexual orientation just is. It varies across all people. Straight, straight with occasional cross-dressing, straight with frequent cross-dressing, androgynous straights, androgynous gay, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, polyamorous straight or gay or bi or trans, or "man-baby" fetishes, or fetishes of grass, or what the fuck ever! I'm making things up now, but I would be willing to bet that somewhere in the world someone does have a grass fetish, and you know what? They deserve to find someone that makes that grass fetish become a fucking reality instead of condemnation of inner desires. We are all different, and we all find ways (or not in the case of recent suicides) to negotiate our sexuality with our surroundings. We learn, we change, we accept, and hopefully, flourish as self-aware sexual beings. The same courtesy that is given to the straight, white, middle-class male, should be extended to every different variation of human... cause no one way is, has, or ever will (should) be "right." We are all alive, we all feel... we are all "right."
.....Just a few thoughts
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-shore/how-is-being-gay-like-glu_b_747071.html
"Would you support a serial adulterer who loves his wife, but is just attracted to other women because that's who he is and how he was born? How about an alcoholic who just can't help himself? Would you support him as he leaves his wife for alcohol? A glutton? A man of extreme pride? Why does homosexuality get a pass, and not any other sin? A person with homosexual desires who resists temptation is exactly the same as a married man who resists temptation to carry on affairs with other women---which is to say, a human being battling the temptation to sin. The most compassionate thing that we could tell someone struggling with homosexuality (or any other sin for that matter) is to keep resisting temptation. Keep battling. Don't give in. This is your badge as a Christian, that you fight temptation"
The above quote is taken from the HuffPo blog (the link I shared above)...
This blog is really interesting.. He proposes that the anti-everything Christian movement has turned it's focus from trying to change orientation and sexual choices to that of a sin that any man or woman can overcome. He says, and I agree, that this way of thinking is telling people with non-bible conforming sexual activities to curb those thoughts as a man trying to quit drinking would do; to give up - on loving someone. It's in religion's best interest to convince everyone that we are sinning, and that we have the "strength" to "fight" "evil" "temptations," and a "mission" to "battle." Why is everything so hateful? Why are the same people that speak for this religion engaging in behavior they condemn?
"It's in the bible, it must be true." - Ha, and I also believe everything I read on the internet. Bobby Henderson , an Oregon State physics graduate, invented a religion also; The Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, aka (I love this) Pastafarianism. They celebrate Friday as a holy day. They believe that the decline in pirates is causing global warming (this is just a play on the fact that beliefs and fact aren't always linked even though correlational; cause yes, pirate numbers have gone down and temperature has gone up, but they are not related - obviously)...
moving forward....
The recently defeated Ken Buck says that sexual orientation is a choice as well. You can choose whether to eat at Fat Jack's Supersubs, or Deli Zone.. so it's apparent that you can choose whether you like the same sex or not. This makes total sense.. ha! What makes sense is this...
Sexual orientation just is. It varies across all people. Straight, straight with occasional cross-dressing, straight with frequent cross-dressing, androgynous straights, androgynous gay, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, polyamorous straight or gay or bi or trans, or "man-baby" fetishes, or fetishes of grass, or what the fuck ever! I'm making things up now, but I would be willing to bet that somewhere in the world someone does have a grass fetish, and you know what? They deserve to find someone that makes that grass fetish become a fucking reality instead of condemnation of inner desires. We are all different, and we all find ways (or not in the case of recent suicides) to negotiate our sexuality with our surroundings. We learn, we change, we accept, and hopefully, flourish as self-aware sexual beings. The same courtesy that is given to the straight, white, middle-class male, should be extended to every different variation of human... cause no one way is, has, or ever will (should) be "right." We are all alive, we all feel... we are all "right."
.....Just a few thoughts
Pregnancy leads to children.. even at age 10
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/11/03/olimpia-mother-of-10yearo_n_778284.html
Sooo, I just came across this and I really am unsure how to react. 10 year old kid has a healthy baby. In class last night we were talking about contraception amongst adolescent children, and menarche (onset of a woman's period), and a myriad of other topics relating to when and how children are experiencing sexual and non -sexual behaviors.
Menarche...
Research now a days is linking obesity in children to an earlier onset of menstruation. A female's body sends chemicals to the brain to start once a certain weight is achieved (approx 107 lbs). I knew that this age was getting earlier and earlier, but the fact that this girl had a kid at age 10 is really blowing my mind. They're gypsies in Romania who are not encouraged to educate, and marriage laws aren't enforced... Leading to...?? A child with a child.
When I was 10 years old I was more concerned on whether or not I had practiced my clarinet enough for the week. I admired girls... from a far. The father is age 13. I barely knew what kissing was (although never experienced at this point), let along how to engage in coitus (I just like that word).
Something needs to be done about the 800,000 teen pregnancies per year (keep in mind that of the 800k, only 500k are born). There is no way around the fact that we are sexual beings and as teenagers (and younger) we can, will, and are experiencing sex. When I first started buying condoms, the looks that I would get were piercing, causing me to not even want to buy them anymore (although I didn't stop). Kids should be congratulated for buying condoms, accessing birth control, and practicing safe sex. Parents need to talk to their kids about sex instead of shunning them and taking their birth control away. Ignorance and intolerance of sexual behavior is how we get in to predicaments where children are raising children. I know I don't have all the answers. In fact, very far from it. But I think when faux pas become norm, taboo the accepted, the shunned welcomed, the world might look a little different.
.....Just a few thoughts
Sooo, I just came across this and I really am unsure how to react. 10 year old kid has a healthy baby. In class last night we were talking about contraception amongst adolescent children, and menarche (onset of a woman's period), and a myriad of other topics relating to when and how children are experiencing sexual and non -sexual behaviors.
Menarche...
Research now a days is linking obesity in children to an earlier onset of menstruation. A female's body sends chemicals to the brain to start once a certain weight is achieved (approx 107 lbs). I knew that this age was getting earlier and earlier, but the fact that this girl had a kid at age 10 is really blowing my mind. They're gypsies in Romania who are not encouraged to educate, and marriage laws aren't enforced... Leading to...?? A child with a child.
When I was 10 years old I was more concerned on whether or not I had practiced my clarinet enough for the week. I admired girls... from a far. The father is age 13. I barely knew what kissing was (although never experienced at this point), let along how to engage in coitus (I just like that word).
Something needs to be done about the 800,000 teen pregnancies per year (keep in mind that of the 800k, only 500k are born). There is no way around the fact that we are sexual beings and as teenagers (and younger) we can, will, and are experiencing sex. When I first started buying condoms, the looks that I would get were piercing, causing me to not even want to buy them anymore (although I didn't stop). Kids should be congratulated for buying condoms, accessing birth control, and practicing safe sex. Parents need to talk to their kids about sex instead of shunning them and taking their birth control away. Ignorance and intolerance of sexual behavior is how we get in to predicaments where children are raising children. I know I don't have all the answers. In fact, very far from it. But I think when faux pas become norm, taboo the accepted, the shunned welcomed, the world might look a little different.
.....Just a few thoughts
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)